I think I had the wrong idea we were going to “re-connect”. but not only that I have so much school work to do, and so much pressure is on my motherfucking mind. I need to quit these old fucking habits. Fuck everything, I’m on my own no fucking lie.
I really don’t know where to turn too. I miss him so much, it’s driving me insane. I wish I was more secure and go out and try something new. But I don’t know what’s stopping me. I really need to stop being so afraid. I told myself I’m gonna go for it and nothing is going to stop me from doing it. But I couldn’t cause I couldn’t find it. What am I talking about? Him! I really didn’t care anymore. I just wanted to go for it. But I didn’t know where he went. Tomorrow is another day. And I just want to know that I miss him, and I am going to be there for him no matter what. I just don’t like shutting HIM out of my life. I still love him like a close friend. I just really him..
February (original) by Daniela Andrade
you were born spring
and I was the ever white snow
you melt me down to nothing
but puddles on the wide ranging road
and ooohhhh dont you know what you do?
you’re the river flowing right under my skin
you melt me down to nothing
and break through the ice i’d built in
oooooh dont you know what you do
ooooh yeah your soaking right through
cause whats the use of holding onto
last years ice when I know that you’ll break me anyways
and February isn’t far…
what’s the use of holding onto last years ice when I know that you’ll
break me anyways
and february isn’t far away
no it isn’t far away..
You know what that means right? It means you can bring a date to watch your school win the game or not. & yesterday was the perfect day to be in the arms of your date because of the couple weather. (couple weather = raining weather) I remember going to the game last year with a date, and he was great to me. But the thing was I had an issue. I was already infatuated with someone else. I remember him sitting right beside me, laughing and joking and getting cold cause of the rain. We sat there making jokes and started to play around. Then my heart dropped when I realize who saw right in front of me. It was him, so perfect and tall. Not my type yet everything I wanted. The guy I was in “love” with came up my way and sat next to his girlfriend which was my best friend. Oh god, and then I ruined my date by telling him my real feeling I had towards him, and ever since then we haven’t talked since. That’s not the only date I ruined, I ruined two other dates, because I let my feelings overcome me. I should have put everything a side and gave them a chance, so who am I to blame? Myself for a fact.
I don’t know why, but I am thinking way out of proportions. I really hate the position I’m in right now. No one is is putting me in it, I just put my self through it. I can’t help it. I just wish I’m in college doing my own thing right now. I want to be on my own forever. I’m tired of depending on people who aren’t dependable, my friends and family are for an example. I just wish I lived on my own and struggle all by myself. I am willing to go through the reality of responsibilities. I’m just sick of thinking bullshit.
Why can’t someone people at my school look like some male models that are fucking sexy? Ugh, I just wish.
There is no such thing as a love story. It always end up in a tragedy.
-Sincerely unknown.
I’m going crazy. I act like I hate like you but yet I can’t stop thinking about you. I’m thinking about the past of what we could have been. You Just shut me out of your life which completely sucks. We haven’t said a word in over a year. I mean come on. I feel no closure from you. How can you just leave without saying goodbye? Oh wait cause you’ve done that millions of other times before. I honestly do miss you. I’m not over what you’ve done to me, but I can accept it. Really though? I just wish you had the heart to come up to me and say “Sorry for what I’ve done to you, and I’m leaving the city to go to a UC, hope the best for you.” Can you just be friendly to me? What have I ever done to you? Uhm, sir. You’re the one who fucked up. And really I just want my apology that I never received in over a year or so.
